First Place · Mathew Xu
Editor’s Introduction
Knock Knock was selected for first place for its compelling suspense, steadily escalating danger, and strong emotional focus on the narrator’s determination to protect his younger sister. The familiar setting makes the mysterious visitor’s repeated appearances particularly disturbing.
Knock Knock
It’s 7:43pm on a chilly October night, it’s dark and quiet outside. I’m walking alone on the sidewalk by myself as I head home after my trick or treat run with my friends. Today was the day that dental offices earned a fortune. Although Halloween is super popular in my community, my street seems too cool for it. Everyone’s lights were dark and not a single soul was present. I walk up the steps and enter my house expecting it to be dim and silent. To my surprise, everybody was still up at this time, even my little sister. My dad was sitting on the couch watching the TV as usual and my mom was just preparing some snacks. My family was never really big into Halloween so when the time came we just did our own little thing at home.
There were never really that many people that came trick or treating on our street so when my sister said, “Yo I think there’s someone outside.”
That instantly caught my attention. I look out the window to see a shadow gliding in the darkness.
“He’s probably just trying to get home or something, there’s no way that’s someone trick or treating on our street dude” I said.
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” my sister acknowledged.
I kept an eye on the figure through the window and watched its movement. Then, the person started walking towards our house, picking up the pace as they got closer and closer like they were being chased by something. I watched the mysterious person walk up the steps to my house, it was only a small boy, not older than 11 years of age. He wore a black hoodie, black pants, black shoes, and a black hat. Strange I thought, he has no costume, kids love costumes, it’s their favorite part. I look at the watch on my wrist, 8:13pm it says. The boy gives 2 slow knocks on the door and I walk over to open it.
“Trick or Treat,”the boy says.
“What are you dressed as?” I asked the boy.
“Umm uhhhh I forgot my costume at home.” The boy said almost nervously.
Before I give him some of the candy from my trick or treat bucket, I peer down into his white pillow case. It’s empty. He takes the candy out of my hands before I can give it too him and
“Well see ya,” I said to the boy. But he just turned his back and strolled down the driveway. That was so weird I thought to myself, what is wrong with that kid? Where are his parents? I walk back to the living room to tell my dad about the weird interaction, but he is nowhere to be seen, with the TV still playing and his drink sitting beside his chair. Hmmm strange I thought again, my dad never leaves the TV running, he probably forgot today and went upstairs. I look at the clock, 8:17pm it reads, I’m thinking why would my dad be upstairs so early all his work is downstairs and he doesn’t sleep until like 11pm. My thoughts get interrupted with two soft knocks on the door again. I scurry over to the door and peek out the window. It’s the same kid.
I open the door saying “what do you want man.”
The boy only replies, “Trick or Treat.”
I sigh and look into his pillow case again only for it to be empty. I thought this kid was doing some kind of prank so I gave him one more candy.
“Alright now get out of here and go home.” I exclaimed. I close the door and begin to walk upstairs to find my dad but the sound of a tap running in the kitchen alarms me. Mom is wasting water I thought to myself, I’m finally going to get to call her out like how she does to me all the time. I dart to the kitchen and find no one? My mom is nowhere to be seen, her phone still on the table and the tap is just left on. I feel a shiver run through my body, my breathing gets heavier and heavier as I run to my sister’s room and tell her everything that happened. We searched and called for our parents but, complete silence whispered back.
“Wait, everytime I’ve opened that door for that trick or treater, mom or dad goes missing.” I tell my little sister.
“So does that mean that if this comes again I will disappear then?” My sister asks.
“Knock, Knock” I turned around to face the door with wide eyes.
“He’s back,” I whispered to my sister.
Then I heard a faint cry through the door, “Please open the door, your dad and I are freezing.”
“Mom?” My little sister cried, “Mom, is that you?”
I instantly want to believe my mom was behind that door but I only see the boy through the window. I couldn’t risk the life of my sister because I have already lost both my parents so I decided to close the blinds and step away from the door.
“Knock Knock.”
I keep hearing the constant knock over and over again and my head begins to spiral like I’m on a roller coaster. I take a deep breath and grab my sister’s hand.
“We’re not opening that door again,” I tell her.
She nods, but her eyes are still fixed on the handle. I pull her away and push the small hallway table against the door. I don’t know how much that will help, but doing something makes me feel a little less helpless.
“Come on, guys. This isn’t funny anymore,” my dad called out from outside the door.
My sister starts moving toward the door, but I hold her hand tighter.
“That’s not him,” I whisper, trying to convince myself too.
I pull out my phone and try calling for help. The call disconnects before anyone answers. I try again, then again, but the same thing keeps happening.
I glance toward the back door. We could run to our neighbour’s house, but what if opening that door makes my sister disappear too? I look at her standing beside me and decide I can’t risk finding out.
We sat together on the couch. The TV is still playing, so I switch it off. Suddenly, I can hear every movement outside.
“Do you think Mom and Dad are coming back?” my sister asks.
I stare at Dad’s drink on the table.
“I don’t know,” I say quietly. “But I’m staying right here with you.”
For hours, the knocking continues. Sometimes the boy uses Mom’s voice. Sometimes he uses Dad’s. They beg us to open the door, then get angry when we don’t answer. My sister presses her hands over her ears, and I wish I could block it all out too.
Eventually, she falls asleep against my shoulder. I stay awake, watching the door.
Then the knocking stops.
I wait for it to start again.
Nothing.
Slowly, sunlight begins creeping around the blinds. Outside, I hear birds chirping. My sister lifts her head and rubs her eyes.
“Is he gone?”
“I think so.”
I get up carefully and walk toward the window. My fingers shake as I lift the edge of the blinds. The street looks normal again. Wet leaves cover the sidewalk, and sunlight reflects off the cars parked outside.
For a second, I feel like I can breathe.
Then I look down at our front steps.
The boy is still there.
His black hoodie is soaked, and the white pillowcase hangs open in his hand. He’s giving me the death stare directly at the gap in the blinds.
I step back, but he has already seen me.
He lifts his hand.
Knock. Knock.
Then, in my mother’s voice, he whispers, “You can’t keep it closed forever.”
Editor’s Comments
<strong>What works especially well:</strong> The ordinary family setting establishes believable stakes. The empty pillowcase and repeated knocking make the visitor memorable. The narrator’s effort to protect his sister raises the emotional stakes, while the apparent relief at sunrise makes the last line especially effective.
<strong>Areas to strengthen:</strong> Tighten some details in the opening walk home; check dialogue punctuation and tense consistency; and consider planting another subtle clue about the boy before the first disappearance.
<strong>Why first place:</strong> Every return to the door intensifies the danger, and the final knock pays off the title while leaving readers with a lingering question. The combination of narrative momentum and the sibling relationship distinguished this entry.